You know that feeling that you get the night before your
wedding? Your body is this mass of energy – okay, okay I know it always is –
but your stomach is full of nerves and excitement and your brain is going a
million miles a minute: making sure you remember your vows, and realizing that everyone
will be staring at YOU for once. Knowing that you are going to spend the rest
of your life with ONE person! OMG….
This is how I feel today.
I feel like I am embarking on this life changing journey, that tomorrow
when I wake up everything is going to change. This all may sound a bit over
dramatic being that a) all I am doing tomorrow is starting Estrace and b) I am
still a month away from only potentially being pregnant. However, as of
tomorrow I am viewing my body as a vessel that will hold the most precious gift
that I could ever ask for so I am going to do EVERYTHING in my power to ensure
that it’s as healthy as I can make it.
When I first started TTC I didn’t really think too much about
my body or my health – Phase I. I just knew that when I got pregnant I wouldn’t
drink, smoke and I would try to each as healthy as I could, anything that
happened before conception was fair game.
And I would say that this behaviour is probably the norm.
A year into my journey
I decided that maybe it was the way I was treating my body that we weren’t pregnant
yet – Phase II. So on my 30th birthday I made it my mission to get
healthy. I lost 40 pounds I cut my drinking down substantially, I ate a million
times better and started watching my caffeine intake and I quit smoking (except
for the occasional one). I had decided that I didn’t want to put my life completely
on hold because the journey could take quite a while and I still needed to live
life.
I am now past that
point – Phase III. I would consider
myself a pretty healthy person but I still have some vices and in order for me
to be completely at peace with this process I need to get rid of those vices. I have spent 2.5 years ttc without success
and now we are counting on science and a large sum of money to make our dreams
come true so no matter what the outcome is I want to know that I put everything
I have into it.
So tomorrow I start Estrace for 7 days or until I get my
period (whichever comes first). When AF arrives I will be calling the Dr’s office
and booking my first ultrasound for 3 days later to see how everything looks
and it will be then that I start my injections.
On Friday March 22, I
am heading home from work on a leave and I am going to focus on my mind body and soul and I am hoping that by doing this that it will increase my chances of getting my long awaited bundle of joy.
For those of you out there reading this may you join me in a
prayer to help me be the best version of me that I can be so that my family can
grow from two to three (or maybe four…hehe).
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