What-If?

The inspiration from today's post comes to me from this amazing group of ladies that I am so fortunate to be a part of. It's a group of ladies that have either been through and/or are going through the the IVF process. They, as well as other ladies on the site, have been my outlet and support group through my entire TTC process, and without them I wouldn't be where I am today. So thank you ladies! (I would mention your names but I am sure you want your annonymity)

What-If?

This is the voice in my head that is constantly nagging away. I envision this little red devil sitting on my left shoulder continuously yelling these so called 'What-If profanities' in my ear.

"What-if the stimming doesn't work?"
"What-if you get lots of eggs but none of them fertilize?"
"What-if your egg quality is terrible?"
"What-if they fertilize and your lining sucks?"
"What-if they don't stick and there are no eggs to freeze?"

And honestly the list is never ending. These questions cause stress, the stress that is supposed to be avoided at all right now. This in turn causes more "what-if's?", and now this has escalated so bad that at this point the 'devil' has me convinced I'm going to end up barren, divorced, broke and miserable for the rest of my life. Ugh.

As long time TTCers we tend to focus so much time and energy on getting pregnant, and sometimes this is completely unavoidable.  The hours spent in the doctors office waiting for ultrasounds, blood work, medications etc and the dreaded tww in which we (or at least I do) count down the minutes to a potential BFP. It's in this time that the day dreaming happens or the 'daymares' as I like to call them in which the sneaky little S.O.B. works his way onto your shoulder and never shuts up.

The aforementioned is how some days end up. One small question turns into a giant avalanche with me laying dead underneath an entire mountain of snow.

The trick is to squash the little bastard before he completly takes over. The mind is a very powerful thing and if he asks you, "what-if the stimming doesn't work?" You tell him to sit the eff down, shut up and move on. This is my trick anyways.....I have a little party in my head to celebrate my victory and continue on with my day.